By Rob Stott (@rob_stott_88)
I don’t often give political commentary for the masses to read, but I’ve been inspired to share my thoughts on the mess that is the Republican Presidential-nomination race. The way I see things/at this rate, when it comes time for the GOP Convention in Tampa Bay the Republican nomination will still be up for grabs.
As a Republican I’ll say that not one candidate has really made me excited to go out and vote. They’ve each had their shining moments, some more than others, but none have stood out as a clear front-runner or the right candidate.
So, let’s say hypothetically—while not too farfetched of an idea—the primaries end and no candidate has secured enough delegates to be considered the primary winner. Instead of letting the delegates vote and vote some more until they can determine the “winner” I’m proposing a radical change to how things are done.
Let’s forgo the archaic method of voting, and make this a physical race. There’s already a precedent for political ralliesrelays, so not much planning or preparation would have to go into this. Duplicating the Presidents Race that is held at every home Washington Nationals game is a great way to help determine which candidate will go head-to-head with Obama in November. Despite the obvious complications of doing so, the event could even be held at Nationals Park in DC. Imagine the buildup and excitement surrounding that kind of event! I can’t even contain myself!
The more I planned this event in my head, the more I realized the two races actually have in common. We’re down to four participants in the Republican-nomination race; the same number of presidents compete in the Presidents Race. The participants themselves can be paired—not based on historical greatness (because no current nominee will, arguably, never be as important to this nation’s history as any of the mascot presidents), but on performance.
Looking at the stats of the Presidents Race, Abe and Tom were neck and neck in the “polls” in 2011, with George not terribly far behind. If you look at the nominees in 2012, Santorum and Romney are neck and neck in the polls and Gingrich, while fading, is not all too far back.
And then there’s Teddy. He’s never won a race. Much like Ron Paul, who’s never really won anything except the hearts of some fanatics.
This probably will never come to fruition, so we’re left to wonder how the candidates might do in this sort of contest. My prediction: It’s actually determined Ron Paul is not human, thus disqualifying him from the contest; Newt Gingrich changes his strategy halfway through the race and begins running backwards—literally back to the start; Mitt Romney uses his hot wife to distract Rick Santorum, and Santorum disappears a few yards from the finish; and Romney is still deciding which running shoes to wear—he kept going back and forth between his Nikes and New Balances. We’re left without a real contender, until, out of nowhere, the Donald coasts across the finish line in a golden chariot.
Guess I’m left having to vote for that incumbent guy…